Skeletons in the Closets of Eternal Maidens
by MrsEDarcy
Summary: Athena and Artemis are considered the perfect two up on Olympus. They don't break the rules, they always follow orders. However even they have secrets and their nosy sister-in-law is determined to find them out. Where does Athena keep going every night? Why is Artemis so attached to her one hunter? Will they turn the world as we know it on it's head. Contains Pothena and Hertames.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own PJO.**

* * *

"Did anyone follow you?" asked the woman. She had dark black, curly hair pulled back into a chignon. She was wearing a suit skirt combo that was very inappropriate for the beach and glasses that covered her dark grey eyes,

The surfer, a tan man with dark black hair and green eyes, rolled his eyes. "Why would anyone follow me?"

The woman looked rather annoyed. She pushed her glasses further up her nose. "I think some of our friends might be on to us."

"No wonder with our names. I mean really dear, Olivia? You are begging to be found out."

She scoffed. "Merrick is better? Really? It means ruler of the sea! Could you be any more obvious?" He sat down next to her on the bench and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Babe, stop that!"

"I don't like it when your hair is covering your face." He ran his hand through her bangs. "That's better. You know you look pretty cute with glasses."

She sighed, was he ADHD or something, and laid her head against his shoulder. "I should kill you for calling me cute."

"A man can't compliment his wife?"

She looked around briefly. "We've only been married for three months dear." She kissed his cheek. "You were married to your last wife for much longer."

"But you're so much more adorable!"

"Why do I let you live?"

He smirked. "Because you love me?" She barked out a laugh. "Okay then, because you're three months pregnant?"

Her face fell, "We are so dead."

"Bird Brain…"

"You don't get it! I broke the rule. I gave up my eternal maidenhood for you. My father's main rival."

He pulled her closer. "Don't worry." He whispered in her ear. "Stress isn't good for the baby." He tried to give her a small smile. "We'll just wait until we can think of something."

She looked somewhat annoyed. "I'm going to start showing within a month or so. I can't hide it much longer!"

"We'll find a way."

"If we don't?" she asked.

He shrugged, "We tell them."

"Kelp Breath," she said in a low voice, "we need to tell them soon."

"Why?"

She groaned, he was an idiot. "I need advice, you dolt. I don't know how to do this."

"Thee, I've had a share of kids. I think I know a bit about having them."

She rolled her eyes, "Were you the pregnant one?" He shook his head. "Besides I need one of my sisters there in order to even be able to give birth. I don't want to be pregnant forever."

He laughed, "I don't want you to be pregnant forever either. The hormones are already too much for me to handle." He expected the hit that followed.

About half an hour later a handsome guy in his early twenties approached the happy couple. "Hey pretty little lady, how about you leave this old cowboy and come with me?" he asked with a cocky grin.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not interested in buffoons."

"I don't know what that is, but I'm up for whatever you're into."

The man on the bench stood up. "We're married bub, lay off."

He scoffed at the taller man. "I sincerely doubt you two are together. There's no way you could get such a hot girl."

"Note the ring," the surfer warned, "so back off."

The man walked away and said something imperceptibly into his watch.

* * *

Artemis watched over her hunters with great interest. They were participating in target practice. "Nice shot, Gwen!" Thalia yelled.

A girl with light brown hair and electric blue eyes laughed and nodded to her superior. "I never miss."

"You're one of the best shots out there. I bet you could Apollo's children a run for their money."

The goddess laughed. "Of course she could. Any of my hunters could." _Perhaps Gwen a little better than the others_, she thought. "Gwen dear, could you go help Phoebe with the new recruits? They need better training."

"Of course milady," she said quickly, before running off with a devious smile.

Artemis sighed. _Oh dear_, she thought, _that won't end well. _"No offense, Lady A," Thalia said, "but that was a horrible idea. Phoebe and Gwen never stop bickering."

"Of course they do, kids like Phoebe are naturally argumentative."

Her lieutenant laughed, "Children of Apollo?" She nodded. "I've never really noticed him as a person who enjoys debating. That's more of a Poseidon thing."

"He argues with me at least."

They heard a scream coming from far away. "Give me back my bow and arrow, Gwen!"

"No way, Jose!"

Phoebe was furious. "What does that even mean?"

"It means you're too old to understand pop culture!"

"Oh please, at least I can sing!"

Gwen passed by the pair of her superiors. "Hey girls."

"Get back here!"

She rolled her eyes, "Hey Phoebe, where's your necklace?" The hunter blinked hand reaching for her neck.

"Give it back you hooligan!"

"Wow, impressive vocabulary. I never expected it out of Ol' Gassy daughter!" Gwen taunted.

Thalia tilted her head. "You know Lady Artemis from this angle, you and Gwen could be twins."

"No we couldn't."

"You two are really similar looking."

The goddess sighed, "Thalia, please go round up the girls for me. We're having boar for dinner." The lieutenant ran off. "And Gwen dear, give back everything you stole."

"Please? Can I keep something?"

Artemis sighed. "Not if you want to participate in the foot race at camp next month."

She handed over the things immediately.

* * *

In the distance a woman stood with a note pad in her hands. Her necklace beeped, "Babe? Can you hear me?"

"Yes Ares?"

The necklace crackled. "I've got the Intel you wanted." She smiled and asked him to go on. "Something is totally up with those two, they're hanging out together and they claimed to be married."

Aphrodite's grin grew. "Thank you sweetie, head back to Olympus before they notice you're gone." She clicked the charm and made a note on her notepad. "It seems," she said to herself, "that some people have been keeping secrets from me."

"Well Arty, Thee. I'm not as dumb as I look and you two obviously aren't as perfect as you think you are."

* * *

**A/N: **

**I thought of this while PMing ladybug28, who is an awesome girl.**

**I scrapped my Solstice story; it wasn't coming along well. **

**Also, random, but do any of you watch PewDiePie on YouTube, because if you do *brofist*!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own PJO.**

* * *

Athena hated morning sickness. It always got her within fifteen minutes of breakfast. Not to mention the fact that it was hard to explain clockwork vomiting to others. She had gotten into a habit of carrying her dental hygiene equipment around in a small purse all day.

She was completely paranoid someone would be able to figure out her secret. She cursed the hormones that made her feel that way as well.

Her mood swings were becoming worse and worse by the day, and she was cared that they would be her doom.

Morning sickness also gave others the perfect opening to bother the crap out of her. "So Thee," Aphrodite said, straddling up the goddess who was furiously brushing her teeth. "You seem really tired lately."

The goddess nearly choked. "I'm perfectly fine."

"You're a little jumpy today."

Athena sighed lightly. "Sorry Aph, I'm not getting enough sleep. It messes with your emotions sometimes."

"Our little night owl isn't getting enough sleep? I find that hard to believe."

"Ha," she replied dryly. She turned off the faucet and snapped her fingers, her hands dried instantly. "Why are you giving me that look?"

"Did you ask Poseidon for that power or what?"

She sighed somewhat impatiently. "My grandfather is the Titan of the Seas; of course I have water powers." Aphrodite blinked, she had thought that Oceanus was a creeper with a crush on Athena, however the grandfather thing explained all the pictures he owned of her quite well.

"I just thought Poseidon might have granted you some." The love goddess traced the faucet. "I mean, I'm pretty sure he likes you. I know he has a thing for smart women."

"Not really," Athena replied. "He's dated you and he married Amphitrite."

She looked slightly affronted. "You don't think I'm smart?"

"I'm sorry, that was rude!"

She blinked. "Thee, what's up with you?" Unlike Apollo she wasn't a living lie detector, but Athena was still pretty good at picking up lies; this made Aphrodite slightly paranoid about pretending she was naïve.

"I'm fine really; I'm going to go take a nap in my sitting room."

She ran out of there as soon as possible. Poseidon was in her sitting room reading a book. "Hey," he said quietly, "I found one of Amphitrite's old pregnancy books."

Athena sat down next to him. He put his arm around her and they leafed through the book. "Well," she said, "my breasts have enlarged."

"I noticed." She hit him lightly.

She read further, "But my hips haven't widened yet."

"Who cares about that? I think you're already starting to show." He tried to look over her figure. "I don't think you're supposed to yet."

She thought a moment and her hand went straight to her stomach, "Oh no."

"Thee?"

Athena sighed out of frustration. "I've been so distracted lately, that I've only just remember that my mom had 2,999 sisters and I'm now slightly paranoid that I'm having multiples."

* * *

Elsewhere Artemis was also paranoid, but about something a little different.

She and her hunters were going to embark on a rather dangerous mission and he was having a hard time convincing Gwen to stay behind.

"I'm one of your best archers!"

The goddess sighed. "That's why you need to be careful."

"I have the best shot at surviving. I can do this!"

"No you can't. I set Phoebe up on…"

Gwen cursed. "You like her more than me! Just because she's your niece! I'm just a little orphan you found by the side of the road. I owe you my life, so I have to do everything you say!"

The brunette stormed out of the tent leaving Artemis standing there awkwardly. She couldn't tell her the truth, but she would harm the relationship by lying. So she chose to stay quiet and hoped it'd blow over. She picked up her bow and arrow and headed for her lieutenant.

The battle was fierce, but the hunters stood victorious over the beast within a few hours. "Damage report," the goddess said.

Thalia sighed. "We've got some minor injuries."

The goddess nodded, but they heard a scream.

It came from Phoebe. She was standing over a small girl with dark hair. "Gwen?" Artemis asked. "You weren't supposed to…" the words died in her throat. The girl had an arrow sticking straight through her abdomen.

She knelt over the girl who appeared to have stopped breathing. "Lady Artemis," Thalia began, "I am so…"

The girl began to cough up blood and startled the others who had begun to mourn. No, it wasn't blood it was ichor, golden ichor. They all gasped. "Gwen's a goddess?" one of the younger girls asked. Typically goddesses refused to join the Hunt; they were too busy chasing boys.

"Yes, dear can you hear me?"

Gwen gasped for air and whimpered, "Yes."

Artemis looked to the others. "I need someone to help me remove the arrow." It took them a few good minutes but it finally came free. "Someone get some ambrosia and nectar, it doesn't matter how much."

"Am I dead?" the girl asked quietly.

The older goddess shook her head. "You cannot die. You are a goddess."

"What?" She asked incredulously. "How?"

"You are a goddess, to be more specific you are Gwendolyn Goddess of Joy."

She blinked. "You knew?"

"Yes, but…"

Gwen looked furious through her pain. "You let me think I'm an orphan!"

"I couldn't tell you…"

"Who are my parents?"

The goddess's face flushed. "I shouldn't…"

"And how on earth didn't I know? Don't gods and goddesses have photographic memory from birth?"

"Yes." Artemis sighed. "You were bathed in the River Lethe. It wipes the memory completely. Your mother didn't and still doesn't want anyone to know you exist."

"Why?"

She sighed. "It's…complicated. You are not supposed to exist."

The girl sat up despite the pain. "How do you know so much about me?"

Artemis sighed. This was going to take a while. "I'll you your story after Phoebe patches you up."

* * *

**A/N:**

**I bought and read MoA. I won't spoil it for you, but my one word review is AGHHHHH!**

**I don't know whether the scream is out of frustration or joy, but I can tell you this: Riordan is officially the god of cliffhangers.**

**This isn't quite the best chapter, but it's needed as sort of a filler.**

**Also if anyone lives in the US, watch out I have a permit!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own PJO.**

* * *

Gwen was not the ideal hunter; she knew that. She developed more crushes on boys than some of the Aphrodite Cabin Members. She didn't even like hunting really; she only enjoyed the target practice aspect of it anyway.

She had always just thought she was a horrible huntress, but now what Artemis was telling her made sense.

The goddess paused a moment before beginning. "You were born under the cover of night. It was part of an effort to conceal your birth."

"From whom?" she asked curiously.

"Everyone," Artemis replied. "Only three people attended your birth." She sighed and took a small sip of her herbal tea. "Your father, mother, and one of my best friends."

Gwen looked confused. "But don't you have to be there or Eileithyia?"she asked.

"Hush child, I'm getting to that part." Artemis sighed. "I suppose I should tell you who they are."

The girl looked mildly peeved, but didn't speak back to her.

"Your father wasn't even supposed to be there. He, being the god of messengers and all, was supposed to be delivering a message for Zeus."

"Hermes? I suppose that makes a lot of sense." Gwen thought back on her past pranking with the Stoll brothers, and her favorite little habit of stealing Phoebe's things. It was especially thrilling to steal from one of Apollo's kids seeing as he was the god of prophecy and all.

She nodded, "You take after him you know, which made your mother's goal all the easier." The older goddess took in a deep breath as if to calm herself. "I sent Zoe to come get you, when you were born she took you from your mother. Then, she took you and bathed you in the River Lethe and your memory was completely wiped. She brought you to camp and we raised you as a hunter. However, you never took the oath. Your mother didn't want to force such a decision on you."

"But, Lady Artemis who is she?"

"Think child, what are you capable of? Your greatest skill? Is it not obvious?"

Gwen blinked a few moments. "You aren't saying…this is a joke right? I couldn't be…"

"You are _my _daughter. I wasn't supposed to have you."

The hunter could feel the air growing colder almost as if the world could hear them. "You weren't even supposed to kiss him, let alone…"

Artemis tilted the girl's head so she was looking her in the eye. "Listen, I realize now that perhaps my judgment when I was younger was foolish. I fell for your father a long time ago; however about ten years ago we were both in the same place at the same time and…I just broke."

She sighed. "I feel so hypocritical," she told her daughter, "forcing girls to give up their love lives and having one of my own."

"If Zeus finds out, what would happen to us?"

The older goddess looked at her daughter with a desperation the girl had never seen. "I have no clue, but I'm not Thee. He isn't going to let me get off as easy as he would her."

* * *

Aphrodite watched the scene with interest. She had to thank her husband for the excellent hidden cameras he had manufactured.

"And the truth comes out!" she laughed.

Ares was pacing behind her. "Babe this is boring; why don't I just go tell everybody? Then at least there will be some action!"

She sighed impatiently. "Stop calling me babe; we broke up."

"Then why am I even listening to you? I could be out getting in a bar brawl," he grumped. Somehow the pouting he was doing took away any tough look he was going for; he looked like an adorable puppy really.

She grinned. "I know your secret. Wouldn't want it to slip would you?"

He whistled, "Thousands of years being my girlfriend has really made an impact on you." She laughed but there was a fire in her eyes. "Woah," he said. "You wouldn't actually?...Oh c'mon Aph…I don't want anyone…"

"But it's so cute!"

Ares blushed. "It's not cute; stop making me blush! I feel like such a girl when you do that!"

She laughed. "Remember what happened with Poseidon and Athena at today's meeting?"

* * *

Athena's mood swings were definitely getting worse. In fact, she had gotten the entire council into a fight.

"Don't even get me started on your little problem!" Hera screamed at her husband. He ignored her.

Athena and Poseidon, either for the sake of appearances or out of actual annoyance, were yelling in each other's faces. "Guess what, you know nothing about me!"

He looked offended. "Ask me a question then Bird Brain!"

"Favorite color?

He laughed. "Olive green!"

She arched her eyebrows. "Song?"

"Totally easy, 'Stupid Girls,' by P!nk, but you bleep out all the offending parts and change the hair color mentioned to black."

Athena laughed, "That was easy. Try this, what's my favorite food?"

"Grilled Salmon with lightly buttered mashed potatoes and steamed sweet corn. You typically eat it with a Greek Island Salad."

She blushed, "That's right."

Zeus arched his eyebrow at his brother. "How on earth do you know so much about Thee?"

"No one knows someone better than their rival," Athena replied quickly. The sea god was blushing just as deeply as she was.

Aphrodite laughed. "Except for one's spouse."

Hera scoffed, "Zeus knows nothing about me."

"In most cases then," the love goddess amended. "There are certain things a rival isn't privy to know."

Poseidon scoffed, "Please I know everything about her."

She took that as a challenge. "What is her favorite perfume?"

"She doesn't wear perfume."

Aphrodite nodded. "Favorite book?"

"Geez, make it hard will you Aph? _Pride and Prejudice_, by Jane Austen she was a daughter of hers."

The love goddess put her hands up in defeat, but she had a smirk on her face. "What's the only piece of jewelry Athena is wearing?"

"Her wedding ring…" he was interrupted by a quick jab to the stomach by Athena's elbow.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Does anyone want to take a crack at what Ares secret is? Ladybug28 knows and thaichick7 it is not the thing you might be thinking.**

**I doubt Thee's song would be Stupid Girls but you know…I wrote her one though if you guys want me to post it.**

**Also I don't know if that meal's any good, so don't go out and try it on my recommendation.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own PJO.**

* * *

Somehow Poseidon knew from the moment he woke up that his wife would knock him flat on the floor.

For a moment, he just blinked and stared at the ceiling trying to recollect his thoughts. Then he cursed and waited for Athena to kick him.

Instead she just stood there in shock as if she hadn't hurt him before almost daily. The sea god caught a glimpse of his brother who was fuming. "Everybody out!" he ordered. When they made for the exit, Zeus called to the two culprits. "Not you two!"

Until that moment Poseidon was never intimidated by his younger brother. Zeus was shorter than him and threw temper tantrums much more often than anyone else he knew. However, at the moment he wasn't looking at him as a little brother, but as his father-in-law and from that perspective he was extremely daunting.

"Is it true?"

Athena sighed. "Yes father, I got married."

He looked furious. "When was this? Did you forget your oath?"

"I've been married for a few months now." She wanted to reach for Poseidon's hand but she chose not to. "I chose to take the oath, so I believe I had the right to negate it whenever I chose to. I decide to marry the man I love."

Zeus looked towards his brother. "How did you know and I didn't?"

"Maybe because I'm smarter than you?" the sea god suggested with a smirk.

Athena clamped her hand over his mouth. "He knows…" she could hear her voice break slightly. "Poseidon knew that I got married because, he is the one who…who I married."

If he hadn't lost it before, the god officially lost it at that moment. "What?"

"Poseidon and I got married three months ago."

He started pacing the floor. "I knew it. If it was going to be anyone, of course it would be him. You know what the fighting was annoying, but this…Us, Athena what has gotten into you? I mean Aphrodite said you thought he was hot, I dismissed her but apparently she knew something I didn't."

"Father, I sincerely doubt that his body temperature is operating above the normal parameters. However I do love him. We got married and we are having a child."

Zeus blinked. "You're pregnant?" She nodded. He turned briskly to his brother. "Okay, now you are dead."

Athena gave her father a death glare. "If you harm him, I will send you into the depths of Tartarus with your father."

"Thee, just go sit down."

Poseidon blinked. "What gives you the right to order her around?"

"I'm her father!"

Athena sighed, "Babe its okay. I'm just going to be a foot away." She kissed Poseidon on the cheek and went over to take a seat.

"How exactly did this happen?"

"The pregnancy?" the sea god asked. "That's kind of obvious."

His brother made disgusted face. "Not that! I mean how did you convince my daughter to marry you?"

"She loves me."

Zeus rolled his eyes. 'How exactly did you manage to accomplish that?"

Poseidon faltered. "I'm lucky."

* * *

Ares was about doubling over in disgust. "How do you do this day in and day out? It's so gross!"

The love goddess rolled her eyes. "Don't you think it's cute when you see…"

"Don't say their name!"

"Why not?" she asked.

He groaned, "Knowing you, you had Hephaestus rig up some sort of technology doodad. Then you'll trick me into admitting my crush and broadcast in on TV!"

She clapped. "You're smarter than we give you credit for."

"Not really," he sighed. "I've just been reading a bit more."

Aphrodite looked surprised. "You can read?"

Ares gave her an evil look and his sunglasses started to melt. She remained completely unfazed. "Of course I can read! I just…don't like to." She laughed. "I'm only doing it so I can actually talk to you-know-who without looking like an idiot."

"Not going to be easy, he's really smart."

"Yeah, guess…Hey!"

She ran away laughing. She couldn't wait to add that to her TV program. Just a little more editing and it would be ready to air.

* * *

Hermes came bursting in through the tent. "Arty? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine dear, but there's someone who would like to meet you."

Gwen stood up. "Hi Dad."

"You? You told her?"

Artemis sighed. "She got hurt, I had to tell her."

He nodded. "Well Gwendolyn," he crouched down to her level. "Been pranking recently?"

The girl began to excitedly inform her father about all she had done. He looked really proud and Artemis couldn't help but smile at the scene in front of her.

Her daughter was exuding joy and the entire camp was filling with light. She always had that effect when she was happy, no one in the world could be sad within one thousand yards. It had always made it hard to hide her identity.

Thalia poked her head in and beckoned for the older goddess to come out. "Lady Artemis? Can you come here?"

She exited the tent. "Yes Lieutenant?"

"I know I'm interrupting your little family moment, but we have a problem here."

The goddess blinked, "How do you know?"

"Well, that's the problem."

Thalia led her to the tent where the rest of the hunters had gathered after dinner. However they had dissipated a while back everyone except Thalia, who had decided to watch some TV. That's when the programming went a little funny.

Aphrodite was standing on the screen. According to the hunter she had just spent the last thirty minutes dishing out all the gossip on every Olympian, the main stars being Athena and Artemis herself. "What exactly did she say?"

"She showed us clips."

Artemis cursed. "She's been filming us?"

"I would have told you earlier, but I couldn't move. It's so addicting. You guys are so….messed up."

She nodded forgivingly. "It's not your fault dear." She sighed. "I might need your help to kill an annoying little blonde goddess."

"Sure, but Artemis? I have a question. How exactly do you leave the hunters?"

* * *

**A/N:**

**If you paid close enough attention you'll learn at least part of Ares secret. So who's the 'lucky' immortal he has in mind?**

**Also I thought up Athena's reponse to whether Poseidon was hot or not a while back, what do you think?**

**Next up, does Artemis get revenge? Do Poseidon and Zeus fight? How does all this tension affect the family dynamic?**


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own PJO.**

* * *

"You want to leave?" Artemis asked.

Thalia nodded. "I thought the Hunters were my family but I never really fit in. They never treated me like everyone else. I don't want the special treatment that's why I left camp. But now, I see how they treat Percy, Jason, and…Nico. They accept them, treat them like everyone else."

"You don't want to be special?"

The hunter sighed. "I just, don't want to be excluded anymore."

Artemis nodded in understanding. "You may leave any time you wish. I have never met a girl more determined to please."

"Really?"

The goddess nodded. "I know you never really liked the idea of giving up your right to date."

Thalia blushed slightly. "Is it that obvious?"

The goddess sighed good naturedly. "I realize it was not the wisest decision to require something of my Hunters that couldn't handle myself."

"I think, I want to leave on my birthday. So I can get my aging back on track." She laughed. "Death Breath's sixteen already, when did that little snot get so old"

Artemis laughed, "I think that about Gwen daily."

"I definitely don't think of Nico as a son." Her face blushed red as soon as she said that.

"Are you happy to be going back?"

Thalia nodded, grateful that Artemis hadn't said anything about her slip of the tongue. "Yeah, but it's going to be awkward for a while."

"Why?"

The hunter laughed. "Well Ares…"

At that moment all three of the immortals in camp disappeared into a golden light.

* * *

Zeus looked very peeved. He had zapped all the Olympians to his home without any warning. Some like Hestia didn't really care one way or the other. Others like Ares were completely surprised and just about jumped out of their own skin.

"What exactly is going on here?" he boomed.

Poseidon looked annoyed; he hadn't wanted to come back. He had just been there! In fact they all had! "If you have Alzheimer's you don't need to be holding meetings, you need to visit Apollo."

His younger brother scoffed, "I'm talking about this odd wave of behavior that has swept through us all."

The sea god rolled his eyes. "Catch up with the times, we changed the dynamic a bit, so what?"

"SO WHAT? Artemis had a child with Hermes! You married Athena! Aphrodite and Ares broke up! We've had more attempts to end our reign in the last century than ever before!"

Hera shot her husband a look, even she was getting tired of his dramatic ways.

Apollo held his hand out. "Wait Arty had a kid?" She rolled her eyes and pointed to Gwen.

"Arty broke the oath,

She had a kid with Hermes,

Dad will now kill them."

The young goddess arched her eyebrows. "He's the god of poetry?"

"Don't worry," Poseidon said with a laugh, "Thee is the goddess of poetry and she's a lot better."

She gave him a small smile and blew him a kiss.

Gwen made a face. "What's wrong with them?"

"Well Athena is going through a lot of hormones at the moment." Aphrodite gave the young goddess a smile. "Poseidon is just sort of like that when he's in love."

"Like a total idiot?"

The sea god gave a dry laugh and sent a glare in the love goddess's direction. She simply shrugged and fixed a smug smirk on her face. She was extremely pleased with herself. However when she glanced over at Ares she noticed he was trying to do anything to avoid everyone else's gaze.

"Ares man up," she said. "You should have admitted it years ago; think of how happy you two will be now."

"You-know-who doesn't like me."

Zeus blinked. "What's going on?"

"Redundant much brother?" Hades asked.

His brother didn't know what that meant so he did not respond. Poseidon gave the god of the underworld a secret high five.

Gwen raised her hand. "Grandfather?"

Zeus looked up.

"I'm Gwendolyn, Goddess of Joy. Do we really need all this tension?"

He looked at her incredulously. "What exactly are you implying?"

"Do we really need to be fighting?" She ignored the obvious glance from Ares. "Is anything worth dividing the family over? Haven't the past few years held enough conflict? Do we really need this?"

He scrunched his brow in thought, but before he could complain Gwen began to smile.

As she smiled the whole room started to glow and a smile spread across everyone's faces. Well everyone's face except Dionysus's.

He hadn't been paying attention to what anyone was saying. In fact he couldn't even hear most of the meeting, because he was listening to Aphrodite's broadcast from earlier.

However the reason he didn't begin smiling was because he was already laughing like a ninny from what had happened on her show. In fact he had drawn everyone's attention. The glow stopped immediately.

"What has gotten into you?" Demeter asked. "You are acting crazy."

Hades gave her a look. "You would know."

Hermes laughed but looked at his younger brother out of slight curiosity. "He is the god of madness, but I've never seen him act like this before." He tilted his head. "Are you sure you aren't drunk?"

The god took in a shaky breath and managed to get a few words out. "It's…just…too hilarious!" He was still rolling on the ground laughing. Tears were starting to roll down his face.

"What are you even laughing at?"

He managed to point a shaky finger towards Ares. He looked rather offended. "You wanna fight me punk?"

The wine god continued to laugh completely ignoring the god's threats. "I…can't…take…you seriously!"

Ares got up and prepared to beat the eternal life out of Dionysus, but he stopped when he saw what he had been watching. "You didn't?" he asked Aphrodite.

She smiled almost innocently. "Did I accidently make it viewable by those not on Olympus? Whoops."

"I could kill you."

Hera made a passing comment, "No killing in my throne room."

Aphrodite smiled sweetly. "You-know-who doesn't watch TV anyway. You're completely safe."

"The entire camp knows!" he complained.

Zeus, who was the only other god who had caught the program, asked what they meant. He had only seen the beginning of the program. He remembered being told about Athena and Artemis, but he didn't see anything about Ares.

Dionysus finally got back up to his feet. He prepared to run and yelled, "Ares has a crush on Chiron!"

* * *

**A/N: BOOM! Who expected that?**

**I came up with that crack pairing in collaboration with ladybug28. I don't even really have an explanation. **

**She decided Chiron was gay, and I incorporated my belief that Ares was as well so I came up with this….our minds work oddly.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own PJO.**

* * *

Apollo paused for a few moments before falling to the ground laughing so hard he was crying. "Dude really?" he laughed.

Ares looked insulted, "You gotta problem punk?"

"Dude," the god of music said, "I'm bi. Liking guys is perfectly okay, but Chiron?"

"What exactly is wrong with him?" he asked through gritted teeth.

Apollo laughed. "He's not exactly the best looking, handsome I guess, but there are so many better looking men out there!"

"We'll he's a better archer than you!"

The other god scoffed. "He wishes. Besides if Chiron's gay, I wouldn't know Dionysus might though."

The wine god sighed. "Just because I'm the god of homosexuality, it doesn't mean that I know what gender Chiron prefers to date."

Gwen made a confused face. "Isn't it your job to know?"

"In case, you haven't noticed missy. I'm not too big on jobs." He sighed and looked at Ares. "If it helps you, he dated me for like a week once. He's most likely at least bi."

The war god sighed, "So should I invite him to the…library?"

Hermes began to laugh. "You want to actually have a chance right? A library isn't the best idea. He'll be distracted by all the books."

"I always knew books were evil," he muttered. "Should I take him to a bar?"

Everyone else gave him a look. "Listen to what you are suggesting. Just picture Chiron in his tweed jacket sipping tea out of fine china at a biker bar."

He thought a moment. "That sounds absolutely perfect."

"You've got it bad, dude." Apollo sighed and thought of the best way to show him the problem. "What if you saw some guy who wasn't Chiron doing that?"

"I would probably beat the guy up."

"And…." He didn't understand. "What if someone tried to beat Chiron up?"

Ares didn't even hesitate. "I would punch the guy's face in."

"Then you would get kicked out of the bar and your date would be ruined. Think it over." Everyone looked towards Athena. She was talking to Aphrodite and Artemis.

"What?" she asked. She had been asking a million questions of the two, trying to amass more knowledge on the subject of pregnancy.

Apollo sighed, was she really not listening? "Where could Ares take Chiron on a date?"

"I'm not sure. What do you think Kelp Breath?" She looked around. "Where did he go?"

* * *

Zeus pulled an extremely amused Poseidon away to a different section of Olympus. "C'mon!" he complained. "That was the most entertaining thing I've seen in years!"

The younger god didn't listen to his brother. "You don't realize the gravity of this situation."

"That your son is gay? It's not really a bad thing."

"No, that you and Athena are having a child and knowing your history it's most likely a boy." Poseidon didn't see the point in this conversation. What was his deal with them having a kid? And why did it make difference that he normally has boys?

"I don't understand your train of thought."

Zeus sighed. "Do you remember the prophecy that Gaia issued when Metis became pregnant?"

Poseidon nodded. "Metis will first give birth to a girl; she will then give birth to a boy who will overthrow you." He sighed. "Grandma's evil but no one told better prophecies. They were always so straight forward."

"What if it wasn't so straight forward?"

"What are you talking about?"

The god of the sky touched the back of his neck. "What did the prophecy mean?"

"It meant," Poseidon said, "that after Athena Metis would have a son who you take over."

"Perhaps. But I've thought of this before, what if it means something different?" Zeus started to pace the floor. "What if it means the Athena will have a boy who will take me over?"

The sea god gritted his teeth. "Are you suggesting that this is just some elaborate plan to overthrow you?"

"You both have attempted before and I doubt the offspring you have would be any different in terms of ambition."

Poseidon was furious. "What exactly are you planning to do? Kill us in order to keep the peace?"

"I need to do something! I can't just have another war on my hand!"

The sea god stood up, "If you harm a hair on Athena's head…"

"She's my favorite child! Do you think I want to do anything?" Zeus cursed under his breath. "I don't want to do anything! But I can't ignore a threat to my reign."

"You can. You've done it before! How do you think any of this came about?" Poseidon fumed.

His younger brother sneered, "At least your precious brat got his little adventure."

"Adventure, he almost died! He didn't choose that life. If we hadn't been so ignorant, then maybe he could have actually had a normal life."

Zeus rolled his eyes. "Like a child of yours could be normal. That's why I'm worried about the state of my realm. Can you imagine how volatile your child would be?"

"The sea does not like to be restrained." Poseidon gave his brother a glare. "If you put the restrictions on them, they will fulfill that prophecy."

The lightning god only grumbled.

"You know what I don't understand? What do you have against my kids?"

"They're too much like their father," he replied, "I don't appreciate the insubordination."

Poseidon looked at his brother incredulously. "If I remember correctly, that means to deny a reasonable request." He walked over to where Zeus was standing. "Asking me to harm or possibly ruin the life of my wife or unborn child is not reasonable."

His brother ignored him or so Poseidon thought until he whispered, "I've done worse for the sake of keeping power."

"You may not have realized it, but we are more unalike than you think." He started walking away. "I've realized my wrongs and with the help of Athena I don't plan on repeating them." Poseidon sighed pausing at the door's edge. "I don't want to be the god I was once known as, an idiot with anger issues, but if you do anything to either of them. You will remember the wrath I once dispersed, and it will be fully focused on you. Are we clear?"

Zeus didn't even deign to respond verbally, instead he only used the flashing of lightening to agree.

* * *

**A/N: Random Author's Note Time**

**So I realized yesterday that my crush looks exactly like Logan Lerman, but taller. You can see why I think he's hot.**

**So Nick is Logan Lerman, Logan Lerman is Percy Jackson, so my crush is Percy Jackson. That made him go up further in my awesome chart. Not to mention he's a PJO fan.**

**Now if only I could get him to talk to me when not forced to…**


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't own PJO.**

* * *

Poseidon came back to the throne room and sat down with a huff before pulling Athena up on his lap. She protested, but he didn't care. "Where were you?" she asked him.

"Your father is being a boneheaded idiot again." He ruffled her hair absentmindedly. "He's really starting to get on my nerves."

Athena looked concerned, her husband was typically one of the calmer gods but here he was gritting his teeth. What did her father do? "You want to talk about it?" she asked.

"Maybe later. What's going on here?" he asked.

She sighed. "Ares went off to watch Mythbusters, because he got frustrated. The explosions calm him down apparently."

"Why is my idiotic nephew frustrated? I have bigger problems than he does."

Athena sighed. "He's just being a big baby," Apollo added. He had been listening to his iGod. He hopped down of his throne. "He should just go up and say, 'Hey babe, fancy a coffee?' And boom! He'd have a date!"

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Considering your track record? I doubt it. You've gotten rejected more times than anyone else in the world combined." She sighed, "He'd be better off getting advice from Hermes."

"Where is our little messenger?" the sea god asked.

"He took Gwen home." Artemis sighed. "He needs time to actually bond with her."

Athena nodded her head in agreement. "Fathers are an important part of childhood development."

"Too bad yours is psycho" Poseidon grumped into his wife's hair. She patted his hands.

"I still can't believe you were the first to break the oath," the wisdom goddess added turning back to her sister.

Artemis blushed slightly, "Well I guess I'm not as stubborn as you are Thee."

"Or perhaps you might have a slightly less oblivious beau?" She gave her husband a very obvious look to which he simply smirked.

Poseidon rolled his eyes. "We're immortal, it's not like I had a deadline."

Athena laughed and turned to her sister. "So for how long have you liked Hermes?"

"From the moment he tricked Father into making him an Olympian," she said with a laugh. "I think I might have a bit of a bad boy complex…"

Apollo laughed, "Only my little sis would fall for someone who exemplifies the immaturity she hates in boys."

"I helped our mother when she was in labor with you, how in the name Hades could I be younger?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, magic?"He blew a bubble and popped his gum in his sister's face. "Not the point. Either way I'm cooler and Dad likes me best."

"Is that gum seriously sushi flavored?" she asked gasping for air.

"What?" he asked. "I like Japanese culture!"

Artemis gagged. "I don't think they have sushi bubble gum!" The god of music turned expectantly towards Poseidon for back up on the awesomeness of raw fish.

"Don't look at me, Thee's the fish lover here. I'd rather have chocolate."

She rolled her eyes then turned to her brother. "I wouldn't eat that if you paid me."

Apollo grumped and was about to explain the greatness of his sushi when Ares yelled from the back, "Yes! I got it!" He came running into the throne room with a wild grin on his face. "Apollo? You still got those Mentos?"

He took them out of his pocket. "Yeah, they're sushi flavored."

"I'm not going to eat them," Ares said. Then he made a face. "Seriously, what is it with you and sushi?" He rolled his eyes. "Whatever, do any of you happen to have Diet Coke?"

Poseidon shook his head. "That's more of D's thing, I prefer orange soda."

Ares had a gleam in his eye, "I hope my dear brother doesn't mind finding himself short a few thousand cans."

"You're seriously going to use that?" Poseidon asked with a laugh in his voice. "I don't think Chiron's going to inflict bodily harm for asking him out. Just man up!"

The war god rolled his eyes. "Whatever, you gonna help or not?"

"No, I need to talk to Thee, about something." Apollo wiggled his eyebrows. "Oh stop being a pervert. If it was that, why would I virtually announce it? Zeus already hates me."

Athena arched her brow as if to ask what happened.

The war god looked around and sighed. "Oh well, I don't really need help. I know how to spell in Ancient Greek. I think…yeah I can." He walked out repeating the alphabet under his breath.

"So, who wants to bet that his plan backfires?" Apollo asked as soon as Ares was out of sight.

"Definitely," Athena laughed.

Artemis looked at her watch. "Zeus! I'm late; I have to go pull the moon across the sky." She just about ran out of the room cursing her father and his impromptu meetings. Her brother laughed.

"It's not so fun being on the other side of the coin is it, Arty?" She simply yelled back an Ancient Greek curse that would make a sailor blush. "Mom would wash your mouth out with soap if she had heard you!"

Poseidon rolled his eyes. "Why don't you go stalk Ares? Get front row seats to his spectacular failure?"

He smiled an evil smile. "Great idea, you coming?"

"Maybe later."

The music god nodded and poofed down to Camp Half-Blood. Athena adjusted herself in her husband's lap so she was looking at him. "What's going on with you and Father?"

He sighed. "He's being completely paranoid."

"He always has been," she said.

"He thinks our unborn child will pose a threat to his reign. He wants to…I don't even know. It's as if he doesn't trust us."

Athena sighed, "I don't believe he does. We've tried to overthrow him before."

"Yeah, but it never worked!"

"The way he sees it, that's only because we started fighting."

Poseidon groaned. "I changed my mind; I don't want to overtake him. Modern times are too stressful as is. I just want to raise a well adjusted kid and make up for those years of fighting."

She smiled. "You can be such a sweetheart."

"You hang out with Aphrodite too much. How am I a sweetheart?"

Athena shook her head. "You are so good to me. I don't need anything, but you always give me gifts."

"Only the best for you and any kids we have." He ran his hand through her hair, "How's our little…girl…boy? Do you know yet?"

* * *

**A/N:**

**Alright those of you who know who Mel is, should she be the child? I know she's got some fans...you know who you are.**

**Also if anyone wants to go on the poll on my profile for best god couple I'd love to get your opinion.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't own PJO.**

* * *

She smiled slightly. "Not yet actually, Apollo says I'm still not quite far enough along yet. But I learned something new."

"What?" he asked, smiling at her somewhat eager face.

Her eyes lit up, "We're having twins." She laughed slightly. "Oh my us, Artemis and Apollo version 2.0! Can we ever get a break?"

"Thee, when you're with me nothing is ever easy," Poseidon said with a light laugh. "If they fight as much as we do, then it will be a challenge." He gave her a pointed look when he said the next sentence. "But luckily I like a challenge."

Athena arched her eyebrow. "What exactly is that supposed to mean Kelp Breath?"

"It means you are just as stubborn as me."

She kissed him slightly. "I like a challenge too." She leaned back in for a second kiss when she heard a cough behind her. She pulled back immediately and nearly jumped out of the sea god's lap. "Hera?"

The goddess of marriage laughed, "I didn't mean to scare you." She looked at the couple with a smile. "It's just nice to see a happily married couple for once." She sat in her throne with a sigh. "Poseidon you've got some lip gloss on your face."

"I know," he said with a smile. "Its chocolate flavored." He wiggled his eyebrows at his wife who mentally facepalmed.

"Do either of you know where Zeus is?"

Poseidon's smile wiped right off his face. "Him? The jerk should still be where I left just two rooms over. I doubt he'd be the best conversation at the moment he's probably still sulking for no reason."

Hera shook her head. "I checked he wasn't there. Do you have any idea where he might be?"

"Maybe he went with everyone else?" Athena suggested with a shrug.

"Where's everyone?"

"Watching Ares's plan fail spectacularly," Athena said.

Poseidon nodded. "He does realize it won't work, right?"

"Considering he isn't that bright, no."

Sure enough the war god came back into the room covered in a sticky brown liquid and foam. "Dude? What happened?" Poseidon asked suppressing a laugh.

"It turns out a Mentos and Diet-Coke fountain was a stupid idea." He said it rather nonchalantly like it wasn't a big deal

The sea god laughed. "Even Zeus could have told you that!"

Ares sighed. "Whatever, I got a date."

"What?" Poseidon and Athena asked simultaneously.

Hera arched her brow, "You look like a pathetic idiot! How'd you get a date?"

"Thanks Mom," Ares said under his breath. "Apparently Chiron thought me humiliating myself was cute." He frowned. "I don't appreciate being called cute."

Zeus stormed out of his room when he said that. "I wouldn't exactly call you cute Ares…" He turned to Poseidon and Athena. "I want to talk to you two."

They followed, but Poseidon watched his brother warily. "What exactly do you want to speak about? I thought we already discussed your feelings on this situation?"

The younger god sighed. "Athena are you deadest on this?"

"I'm not a fickle person Father. When I make up my mind I intend it to stay that way. Do you understand?"

"Not really."

Athena squeezed Poseidon's hand and looked at her father. "I've had thousands of years to think this over. I know what I'm doing, this isn't a spur of the moment decision. I'm not going to turn around and regret it."

"I doubt that," Zeus murmured.

"Father!"

He swallowed. "I want to apologize. I shouldn't accuse you of trying to take over my throne. I talked to Aphrodite; she says it's the truth, so that's it."

"What?"

He sighed. "If you were trying to overthrow me, you wouldn't go to this extreme. And you wouldn't have given up your maiden vow, if you didn't love him. No matter how horny."

"What?!"

He threw up his hands. "That's how Aphrodite worded it!"

"Us, Aph has no subtly!" Athena complained.

Zeus sighed. "If your child tries to overthrow me, we'll deal with that when time comes." He looked at a note he had been writing. "I've been considering the possibility that Gaia had worded her prophecy in the most cryptic way possible on purpose."

Athena nodded as she thought about it. "She wanted to make you sweat it out. I prefer Apollo's prophecies at least he doesn't intentionally try to trick us."

Poseidon thought about it. "Good point babe."

"Oh, this is going hard to get used to," Zeus said looking at the couple. "It's not something I'm comfortable with."

Athena looked at her father. "Well you have the rest of eternity to get used to it. So you have to learn to deal."

"Just no PDA please."

"No promises," Poseidon said pulling his wife a little closer to him. He laughed at his brother's expression. "What you don't want a lot of Poseidon juniors running around?"

Athena laughed. "I don't even want that! You're all I can handle."

"Please like I want a bunch of brainiacs running around."

"Why you…" she said with a laugh. He began to run away. "I'll get you!" She said chasing after him.

* * *

"Okay, if destroying camp was Ares's goal, I give him props," Hermes said as surveyed the mess of soda and mentos everywhere.

"I'm going to kill him," Artemis said under her breath. She hadn't been spared by the explosion.

Apollo was laughing. "You look hilarious! What's your problem?"

She turned to her brother and shot him a death glare. "I would like to remind you that my daughter is standing behind you with a bow and quiver of arrows. She could just shoot you, you know."

"Nah, Gwen here's my new best friend! Right Gwennie?"

The girl laughed. "Yeah right."

Hermes sighed. "C'mon Arty, we should go to the Big House and get you cleaned up. Then we can kill Ares and Apollo."

She agreed and they headed up to the building. "You and Gwen seem to be getting along," Artemis said.

"Yeah," he sighed, "I wish we had told her earlier."

She nodded. "I don't like keeping secrets like that." She looked at Hermes. "She's ten you know; we kept that secret for a decade."

"It's been a long time since we went on that date," Hermes said. "Maybe after, you get cleaned up. We could go catch a movie?"

She smiled, but arched her brow. "Don't you have a job to do?"

He pulled out his cell phone and stared at it. Then after a few moments he stopped in place and turned back to the camp area. "Gwen!" he yelled. "Go long!" He threw the cell phone which landed just a bit short of his mark. Hermes could hear George and Martha complaining from where he was standing. "Sorry!"

He turned to Artemis. "What job?"

She laughed. "Okay, when I'm cleaned up we'll go to the movies."

Hermes smiled devilishly. "You know what happened last time we went to the movies…"

Artemis hit him on the arm. "In your dreams Fly Boy."

* * *

**A/N:**

**That's all folks.**

**For those of you who wanted Mel, instead of including her in here I started a sequel to Love Quest called "Pollo, You Freaking Idiot!"**

**Thanks for all the reviews and check out the poll on my page if you'd like to.**


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